What Do You Bring to the Relationship Table

Many times people say they know what they are looking for in a relationship, a spouse. Women and men say I want a person who makes a certain amount of money, has a certain job, looks a certain way, good credit, nice car, and educated. Someone who can help me accomplish my goals in life. There is nothing wrong with wanting certain characteristics in a mate. And there is nothing wrong with wanting someone who can help you accomplish your goals in life. Most of these however, are outward things. And if that is who you are, then you need to recognize that is who you are. Are you bringing the same or equal qualities to the relationship, to the table?

You meet a person, and they have the job, money, education, credit and the looks you want. Wells let’s say they have most of the qualities you are looking for; and you get married. Then life happens, and maybe someone gains weight, loses hair, job/career changed, credit gets damaged, had to down size the car. Now the rubber is meeting the road. Is this relationship built on sand or on rocks? What is the foundation of the relationship?

Many times in our relationship with God we seek things. We seek the money, career, nice car and nice house. But Jesus tells us in Matt 6:33 to seek ye first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all of the things will be added unto us. God told Solomon in 1Kings 3:11 that because he did not ask for riches for himself, but asked for an understanding heart to discern judgment; I’m going to give you that, but I’m also going to give you what you have not asked for, riches and honor and there shall not be any like you among the kings all of your days. In Hebrews 11:6 it says but without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that he is and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek Him. God clearly says if you want the riches, you have to want Him first. You have to seek Him first. In Ps 37:25 David said, I have been young and now am old, yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. God has promised us if we diligently seek Him, who he is, what are his ways, that He will reward us. He wants us to know him intimately and God is not going to be used. I encourage you to seek Gods face and not just his hand.

Would you want someone to choose a relationship with you just because of the outward things that you bring to the table. The things that can change the stuff (material things) they can have. If you did not maintain the stuff, would you still be in the relationship? If you gained weight, lost your hair and did not make as much money, would you want your relationship to end? No, you would want and hope you had something deeper; you would want someone who cared for you deeper than just the stuff. You want someone who will stick by you when life happens. You would feel used if they left when the stuff was gone, when you needed them. Just like you want someone in it for you, God wants us in it for Him!

It is sometimes a good idea to look for someone who has strengths in the areas where you are weak. Someone you can have a conversation with, a real conversation? If laughter is important to you, can you laugh together, have fun together? Do they want the same things you want out of life? For example you may want a large, expensive, high end house and car. They may want an average priced home in a nice neighborhood. You may call good money $150,000.00 per year; they may call good money $50,000.00 a year or less. You may value money and they may value family. Learn the deeper things about the person you are in relationship with, have intimate conversations. Find out if they know God or just go to church. When you come to the relationship table bring the real you, ask the real questions and get real answers. If you seek the real relationship, the deeper things and not just the stuff, I believe the reward will be great.

Why Do You Believe In God?

Do you believe in God? Why? Many of us believe in God by faith. We just know that God is real and we know the word of God is true. We have confirmation of our belief in God because of our experiences with God. There are others who have had to study everything from every angle to finally come to the conclusion that God is real. For some it is the small things, the simple things and for others it is the big things, the deep things. But many times when I hear why people believe, simple or deep, I know that God is amazing in that He knew and knows what it takes for those of us who are going to believe.

Aristotle's Unmoved Mover states "that there was never a time when there was not motion, and never will there be a time when there will not be motion. Motion cannot be self caused, there has to be a mover. And the unmoved mover must be one and eternal". This means if it was more than one mover, it would not be orderly. And because motion is ongoing, the mover must be eternal.

Some people can see a sunset, sunrise or a waterfall and know that God is real. Many look at a baby, and the entire process from conception to birth and know that He is real. Jay Z in his OWN episode of Master Class said he believes there is a God because his eyebrow stops his sweat from running into his eyes. Others believe because they have been delivered from addictions or situations that they know they could not have come through by themselves.

Why do you believe there is a God?

Under the Influence of Emotions

It is not a good idea to be lead by your emotions, and anger, love and lust are strong emotions. There are some things you should not do or say while you are emotional. Love, lust and anger are three emotions that can have long term consequences if you make the right or wrong decision while under the influence.

There are people who are incarcerated right now because they were overcome by anger and ended up committing serious crimes. Sometimes killing or injuring a friend or family member. Anger has caused physical and verbal abuse and has caused many relationships to fail. Lust is defined as an intense desire or need. In 1 John 2:16 it says the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of God, but is of the world. There should never be anything or anyone that you cannot walk away from. If you are going to lust after someone, let me encourage and suggest that you lust after God. Love is wonderful, is of God, and it feels great to be in love. Many times we get love and lust confused. In 1 Corinthians love is described as patient, kind, does not just think about itself and is not envious. Love never fails. Love is a feeling, an emotion; and while you feel love, you are subject to make decisions that could have long term consequences. Love is not just a feeling. You can love someone and not have the emotion or feeling of being in love.

Quitting your job while angry is definitely going to be something you regret once you are not angry anymore, then you will be angry when you are not getting a pay check and cannot take care of your responsibilities.

Confrontation/Discussion, if you wait until you calm down, you might discover some arguments are not worth the time or effort. Ask yourself if you win what do you get? What is the reward for winning? Is it really that serious? Would you rather be married or would you rather be right?

Decision to have children- Once you have children, you have them for the rest of your life. Is that a decision you want to make while you are emotional. Is this a person you want in your life for the rest of your life? Is this Mr/Ms Right or Mr/Ms Right Now?

Decision to get married- Living with a person for a long period of time is not a decision you want to make while emotional. You are combining your living space, money, families, decisions, credit situations, and your life. I do not suggest or advise you make a decision this important while emotional. You would want to be thinking with a clear head. If it does not clear up now, it will clear up during the marriage.

Be intimate without birth control or protection- do not get so caught up in the moment that that you make the decision that this is not important. It can cost you your life.

If you have money, do not get married without a prenuptial agreement.

Our emotions are what make us compassionate, they help protect us and bring us joy. Anger is useful, and there are some things that should make us angry but anger should be controlled because anger can be destructive and people, who get angry quickly, stay angry a long time and whose anger is uncontrolled are fools. It says anger rest, takes a break, is comfortable, and is relaxed in the bosom of fools.

Emotions are not enough to keep a relationship together. The emotion of love is not enough to commit to a relationship or keep a relationship together. When problems arise and they will, you will need more than an emotion to keep your relationship together. Let me suggest and advise that you do not make decisions based on the feeling of love, but when you are thinking clearly. Emotions fade but love never fails.

Play Again

Things we do and decisions we make in life have consequences. For every action there is a reaction. If someone gets shot and killed they are dead forever. If someone decides to lead the police in a vehicle chase, they, the police or an innocent party could be hurt or killed. They could also end up in jail.

In many video games, if you run from the police and the car crashes, you just start the game over; same car, same character. If you kill someone in a video game, they are there and ready to play once you select play again or restart the game. In many of these video games there are no consequences. Run from the police or kill someone, just play again.

In life there are consequences. If you allow young children whose minds are still forming to play games that have no consequences, what message are you sending them, what are you teaching them. Do you believe they hear what you say, or do you believe they are getting the message from the video game that they are playing over and over and over again?

The Bible says you are to train your child in the way that they should go and when they are old, they will not depart from it. To train means to do or say it over and over again. Are you telling them the right thing as many times as that game is telling them the wrong thing?

Have you noticed over the last few years how many young people think its okay to run from the police. Have you noticed how many young people are killing young people over nothing. Creators of video games need to build in consequences. You should not be able to play again and get the same people and the same car. You should have to go to jail if you get caught. Should should not be able to play that character for a while because they are paying the price for what they did wrong.

In real life there are consequences. In real life you do not get to play again.

How to Love

Should you love the way that you love or the way a person wants to be loved?
If you attempt to show someone you love them by cooking and they do not care about having home cooked meals, do they feel the love? If flowers are something they only want on their grave, then flowers may not be the way to show your love. They could want more of your time and attention and not just your money. Volunteering to help around the house or in the yard could be a way of showing that you care, especially if they know it goes against the flow for you and you are doing it just for them.

God has instructed us on how to love Him. He said to us if you love me, keep my commandments. God likes us to spend time with him, praise him, worship him and put him first. There is no gray area; we know how God wants us to love him. If you decide there is another way to love God other than doing what is in his word then God is not feeling that devotion. Feeling love is not always important, you can be in love without feeling it. But sometimes we need and want to feel the love.

If a person shares with you what is important to them or over time you figure it out, then my suggestion and advice is to love the person the way they want to be loved. Feel free to show affection the way you show how you care also, maybe they will learn that they enjoy that as well, but that reward could just be for you. If you want them to feel the love, then love them in a way that they can feel, always keeping in mind that it does not go against the word of God.

God knows us better than we know ourselves, He knows, our thoughts before we think them, our words before we say them, he knows the number of hairs we have on our heads, now that is intimate, that is love.

Scrapbooking Is All You Need

I have been scrapbooking for over 5 years and one of the things that I love about scrapbooking is that it satisfies so many of the things that I enjoy. You can scrapbook for yourself or for others. You can scrap pictures and journal for fun or you can get therapeutic and scrap and journal for more personal reasons. Either way the enjoyment of scrapbooking is the same. Remember scrapbooking is not just about the pictures, it is also about the journaling.

If you like to take pictures or you know someone who does then this is another option for displaying your photographs. If you have old family photos just lying around then this is a great way to preserve them and journal them so that in the future family members will know something about the people are in the photos. Create a family tree in your scrapbook. And all scrapbook items are archival quality products. They are made to stand the test of time. Once you start scrapbooking, you will think differently about your photos while you are taking them and the options on how you want the pictures developed.

If browsing is part of your shopping experience then you have picked the right hobby. You can spend hours in scrapbook stores or sections looking at paper and embellishments. You imagine your pages while you are in the store, planning the possibilities. Or you just look for the items you like or items on sale that you will use one day. You can keep paper and embellishments for years, and eventually you will find a use for them. The browsing and shopping is relaxing. Once you have some basic supplies, scrapbooking does not have to be an expensive hobby.

If you like to decorate and I do, once you start working on your page; that is exactly what it is, decorating. You can be creative you can make your page anything you want it to be. Only you have to like the page. If other people like it, that is a plus, but your opinion is the only important opinion. Scrap bookers have to resist the urge to go back and redo beginning pages. Some scrapers are perfectionist; I am not want one of those people. That is another one of the great things about scrapbooking, it adjust to your personality. You can be perfect if you want or not.

Scrapbooking can be social or individual. There are scrapbook retreats, conventions and crops. One of the great things about social scrapbooking is you learn so much from the other participants. And with the right group it is a lot of fun. Scrapbooking alone is productive and relaxing. Once you get your creative juices flowing the sky is the limit on how productive you can be. Also scrapbooking supplies also work for card making.

So if you are looking for a great hobby, browsing, shopping, decorating, creating, relaxing, traveling, social or individual consider scrapbooking, it could be everything you need. Happy Scrapping

Americans Accustomed to Change But Not Elected Officials

Americans over the past 20+ years have been downsized, rightsized and outsourced. Technological advances, North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) and Central America Free Trade Agreement (CAFTA) have moved jobs beyond our borders to other countries with huge benefits to corporate America while the American people continued to spend and cause people in other countries to prosper. NAFTA created the worlds largest free trade market and CAFTA expanded that market. These are decisions that elected officials made for Americans. These are the people who should be looking out for America's best interest.

Americans should be accustomed to change. We have changed from being a country that builds to a country that buys. Problem is, we cannot keep buying if we are not building. We have changed from going to work everyday to waiting for unemployment checks to come in the mailbox every week. Some change, the minute you hear it, you know it cannot be good, like NAFTA and CAFTA. Other times you do not know immediately if the change is positive or negative, but it is certain that in America change is constant.

In America today, an employee retiring after 25+ years on the job is almost a thing of the past. It is rare. However our elected officials who have implemented so many changes for us, have experienced very little change in their careers. There are 100 senate seats and at least 20 Senators have over 20 years in office with many more between 16-18 years. Senator Byrd from West Virginia has 51 years and Senator Inouye of Hawaii has 47 years in office. In the House many have served over 36 years. John Dingell is the longest serving member in history who has been in office since 1955 and 29 years old. Many of these elected officials are millionaires.

It is time for our elected officials to be involved in the American culture that they have helped to create. They should understand just like other Americans that you have to perform the job you are hired/elected to do; or you have to find another position. It is time form many elected officials to find another job. We can help.